"The Lich Dome" is the 112nd episode in the Skyrim for Pimps series and the 23rd episode of Season 6. This episode is a "very special kind of walkthrough" for the missions "In Their Footsteps" and "Infernal Alchemy" of the Undeath questline (Mod DLC).
Cock Nibbler runs around depressed after having a one night stand with an ugly lizard woman.
"I thought I was going to be the hero of Skyrim but after this, I know now I'm the zero of Skyrim."To make Cock feel better, the voice in his head suggests he kill one of the "heathen chicks with their stupid sexy armor," who happens to be standing idly on the road. This "heathen chick" turns out to be Fün Tits, who asks Cock how she can get to Markarth. She's supposed to go kill some people there (See Lover's Quarrel).
Not having any of this bullsh*t at the moment, Cock rudely tells her to leave him alone. When Fün asks what had happened, Cock tells Fün he had sex. Fün tries to cheer him up by saying that that's impressive at his age. She also gives a little relationship advise and explains to Cock that sex is not everything and that there's love, like the love between her and Astrid. Cock, getting quite impatient, tells Fün that he had sex with a lizard. Feeling emphatic, she tries to put him out of his misery.
"Sex with the lizard that's f*cked. I'd rather have sex with a corpse."However, Cock is still invincible and a gash from Fün wasn't going to kill him. Putting his heavy feeling aside, he makes a fresh start at becoming the hero again. He thinks that the only way to make up for this sin is to "become the hero of Skyrim again and go and complete the main quest." He acknowledges that he has been wasting a lot of time not doing the main quest and now it's time to do it.
His commitment to completing the main quest does not last long when he sees a vigilant of Stendarr assassinated on the middle of the road. The fellow killed was named Nikolas and he had a letter on him detailing his orders to deliver the accursed artifacts to the College of Winterhold. It seems a criminal organization ambushed this man and stole the artifacts from his corpse.
Cock feels quite obligated to help the vigilants out and is quite confident that the mages at College of Winterhold aren't competent enough to retrieve the stolen artifact themselves. So Cock heads east to Ravenscorn Spire to defeat this criminal organization. Unfortunately by the time he gets there, the evil boss, Antioch, went into seclusion and all that was left of the place was a couple of grunts and the boss's journal.
Looking through the journal, our dragonborn hero finds out that the artifact stolen was called the "Tome of Unlife." Cock and the voice in his head try to picture was this "Tome of Unlife" might look like. Perhaps it might be decaffeinated coffee or the state of being in a coma.Trying to look for more clues, Cock finds another one of Antioch's journals. He skims through the journal and discovers that Antioch and his cronies are looking to construct an arena called the Lich Dome (spelled Lichdom). That's pure evil!
In order to stop this dome from being built, our dragonborn hero heads over to the construction site. Along their journey, Cock and the voice in his head passionately talk about the politics of Skyrim talking about not needing "another sports arena in Skyrim." People are always promising that "it's going to attract all sorts of business to Skyrim but they're not thinking about the innocent lives that we lost building the lich dome or the innocent lives that will lose after we build it." They also talk about what kind of events this arena would host. Perhaps a baseball game full of lich.
"They're all standing at their spots and they hurl flaming skulls at each other and then they just kind of like ricochet off of the audience and explode killing thousands and then they all get turned into undead."
"That does not sound like an enjoyable sports event."During his adventures, Cock also finds Horse again, which he will never admit he stole, and defeats his enemies alongside his it.
Arriving at the sight of the Lich Dome, they defeat the people surveying the area. Curious to see that this arena might have looked like, they wait until morning for better lighting but they see that the site would be on the ledge and would be dangerous unless the designers wanted everyone to be thrown off the cliff.
Later, Cock finds some sort of green concoction and decides he'll throw in a human heart in it.
"Alright, that makes it grosser."And then Cock tips over the concoction. He thinks that this might have been the signature drink at the Lich Dome. The arena was going to have a microbrewery. It all makes sense now.
"It's the lich dome, where you can get the strange green drink with human hearts in it."He was relieved to find that he stopped the construction on time. The foundation of the arena was already built and it would have been too late had it moved forward from there. Construction would have displaced all of the animals, like the butterflies.
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