Changes: S'oggyballs

Revision as of 23:57, 19 February 2017

This article is about the character. For the episode, see S'oggy Balls (Episode).

Template:Infobox S'oggy Balls is one of the four protagonists of the series Skyrim for Pimps.

Personality

S'oggy Balls is a Khajiit that hails from Elsweyr. He and his brother J'zargo were raised by tiger-like creatures called Tonys after their parents died. J'zargo always wanted to be a mage, but S'oggy Balls longed to be a master of Catrate, the art of smashing your enemies with your fists. Much to S'oggy's disappointment, J'zargo frowned on such a thing and always looked down on him and never showed him the respect he felt he deserved. When J'zargo left for the College of Winterhold, S'oggy decided to prove himself to J'zargo and left for Skyrim as well, leaving behind Tony and a...very odd Khajiit named Yura. But unlike his brother, S'oggy Balls headed straight to Whiterun to join the Companions and become a legendary fighter.

S'oggy Balls was unfamiliar with the customs outside of his homeland, not understanding that selling Skooma, his favorite drug, could land him in jail, or that anal licking was considered offensive because in his homeland it is a formal greeting. At the start of the series, S'oggy also could not read or write very well, leading to the threat of a restraining order by Ysolda after he sends her a creepy message.

Season 2

S'oggy Balls makes his first cameo in the episode "Crotch Gets Hitched". He can be seen in the background of Crotch /Ysolda's wedding.

Season 5

Main article: Season 5 - Story

S'oggy Balls was determined to impress his brother, J'zargo and left for Skyrim to join the legendary band of warriors: the Companions!

Season 6

Although S'oggy Balls is not the main character in Season 6, S'oggy Balls can be seen through the eyes of Cock Nibbler and Fun Tits. Cock directly interacts with S'oggy in the episode Giant Chicken Army.

In Song of Mai Dik, Cock Nibbler witnesses S'oggy Balls and General Burnside hanging out at the Bannered Mare.

In Drag 'N Rend, Cock Nibbler witnesses werewolf S'oggy Balls having sex with a cow.

In Giant Chicken Army, Cock Nibbler kills a dragon in front of S'oggy Balls, who is amazed at his Dragonborn skills. Cock Nibbler flies away during their conversation further amazing S'oggy Balls. Cock suspects S'oggy is high.

In Dark Sisterhood, S'oggy can be seen smashing the people of Whiterun in what seems to be chaos caused by a Skooma shortage. Fun Tits, who lives in Whiterun, steps out of her house, see the chaos, and decides to rebuild the Dark Brotherhood.

Quotes

"A clean Khajit is not a Khajit any longer!" (In "Sex With Aela" , to J'zargo)
"Friendship Smash!" (In "Friendship Smash")
"You only have 5700? God dammit, Sprinkles! I just gave you 10,000 the other day! What happened to all of it, you dipshit?!" (In "Skooma Face", to Sprinkles, the drug dealer)

@@ Line 9: / Line 9: @@
 '''S'oggy Balls''' is one of the four protagonists of the series Skyrim for Pimps.
 ==Personality==
-S'oggy Balls is a Khajiit that hails from Elsweyr. He and his brother [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/J%27zargo J'zargo] were raised by tiger-like creatures called Tonys after their parents died. [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/J%27zargo J'zargo] always wanted to be a mage, but S'oggy Balls longed to be a master of Catrate, the art of smashing your enemies with your fists. Much to S'oggy's disappointment, [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/J%27zargo J'zargo] frowned on such a thing and always looked down on him and never showed him the respect he felt he deserved. When [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/J%27zargo J'zargo] left for the College of Winterhold, S'oggy decided to prove himself to [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/J%27zargo J'zargo] and left for Skyrim as well, leaving behind Tony and a...very odd Khajiit named Yura. But unlike his brother, S'oggy Balls headed straight to Whiterun to join the Companions and become a legendary fighter.
+S'oggy Balls is a Khajiit that hails from Elsweyr. He and his brother [[J'zargo]] were raised by tiger-like creatures called Tonys after their parents died. J'zargo always wanted to be a mage, but S'oggy Balls longed to be a master of Catrate, the art of smashing your enemies with your fists. Much to S'oggy's disappointment, J'zargo frowned on such a thing and always looked down on him and never showed him the respect he felt he deserved. When J'zargo left for the [[College of Winterhold]], S'oggy decided to prove himself to [[J'zargo]] and left for Skyrim as well, leaving behind Tony and a...very odd Khajiit named Yura. But unlike his brother, S'oggy Balls headed straight to [[Whiterun]] to join the [[Companions]] and become a legendary fighter.
-S'oggy Balls was unfamiliar with the customs outside of his homeland, not understanding that selling Skooma, his favorite drug, could land him in jail, or that anal licking was considered offensive because in his homeland it is a formal greeting. At the start of the series, S'oggy also could not read or write very well, leading to the threat of a restraining order by [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Ysolda Ysolda] after he sends her a creepy message.
+S'oggy Balls was unfamiliar with the customs outside of his homeland, not understanding that selling Skooma, his favorite drug, could land him in jail, or that anal licking was considered offensive because in his homeland it is a formal greeting. At the start of the series, S'oggy also could not read or write very well, leading to the threat of a restraining order by [[Ysolda]] after he sends her a creepy message.
 ==Season 2==
-S'oggy Balls makes his first cameo in the episode [[Crotch Gets Hitched|"Crotch Gets Hitched"]] . He can be seen in the background of [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Crotch_Guzzler Crotch] /[http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Ysolda Ysolda]'s wedding.
+S'oggy Balls makes his first cameo in the episode [[Crotch Gets Hitched|"Crotch Gets Hitched"]]. He can be seen in the background of [[Crotch Guzzler|Crotch]] /[[Ysolda]]'s wedding.
 ==Season 5==
+{{Main|Season 5#Story|11=Season 5 - Story}}
-The series opens up when [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Crotch_Guzzler Crotch Guzzler], on his way with [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Cock_Nibbler Cock Nibbler] to a padded cell after his battle with [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/F%C3%BCn_Tits Fün Tits], is attacked on the road by an armored Khajiit who announces that he is here to seek vengeance for the murder of his brother, [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/J%27zargo J'zargo]. The Khajiit's name is S'oggy Balls and he tells [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Crotch_Guzzler Crotch] his tail...er, ''tale''. Quite some time ago, S'oggy Balls and his brother [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/J%27zargo J'zargo] were living in Elsweyr, each of them with dreams for their future; S'oggy Balls wanted to be a warrior while [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/J%27zargo J'zargo] wanted to be a mage. This caused problems between the two brothers and [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/J%27zargo J'zargo] looked down on S'oggy Balls for not deciding to learn magic. [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/J%27zargo J'zargo] left for Skyrim to join the magic college and S'oggy Balls was determined to impress his brother and left for Skyrim to join the legendary band of warriors: the Companions!
+S'oggy Balls was determined to impress his brother, [[J'zargo]] and left for Skyrim to join the legendary band of warriors: the [[Companions]]!
-Upon arriving in Skyrim, S'oggy Balls decided to share the wonderful gift of moon sugar to the citizens of Whiterun, not realizing it was illegal outside of Elsweyr. S'oggy Balls attempted to share some with a guard and was instantly arrested and thrown in jail. While in jail, he suffered severe hallucinations and withdrawals and wound up humping a dead Nord in his cell. After discovering a key was rammed up the Nord's ass, he unlocked a grate in the floor and made his escape. He made his way to the meadhall of Jorrvaskr and to his delight, found two warriors fighting inside. S'oggy Balls attempted to join in but accidentally killed both of the fighters.
-After proving his worth to Vilkas and fighting him, S'oggy was sent to give a shield to [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Aela_the_Huntress Aela the Huntress]. Right away, S'oggy Balls was filled with desire to mate with her and attempts to woo her throughout the season. S'oggy Balls goes to a tomb with Farkas and while there, discovers that the Companions are all Werewolves, at least [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Aela_the_Huntress Aela], Vilkas, Farkas and Kodlak are anyway. S'oggy Balls becomes a Werewolf himself and discovers the threat of the werewolf hating group called the Silver Hand. S'oggy Balls and the Companions (accompanied by S'oggy Balls' pet [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/General_Burnside_(Character) General Burnside]) eventually defeat the Silver Hand and S'oggy Balls becomes leader of the Companions.
-S'oggy Balls travels to Riften where he is approached by the leader of the Thieves Guild, [[Brynjolf]] and deciding that this is the chance to really prove his worth to [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/J%27zargo J'zargo], S'oggy Balls joins them and becomes a thief! But all is not well in the guild, a mysterious person is interfering with the guild's plans and Mercer Frey knows just who it is. He lures S'oggy Balls to Snowveil Sanctum and tells S'oggy a tale of the greatest surprise hand job he and former guild master Gallus ever got, and one that was so great that it actually killed Gallus.
-To end Karliah (or to perhaps recieve her amazing handjob), S'oggy and Mercer venture deep into the ruins and S'oggy is suddenly knocked to the floor, crippled by one of Karliah's surprise handjobs. Jealous that S'oggy got one and he didn't, Mercer cuts off S'oggy Balls' dick and leaves him for dead. Luckily, our hero is saved by Karliah and his dick is sewn back on. Karliah tells him of Mercer's plans...but unfortunately, we can never really hear her because she talks far too quietly. During the events unfolding to Mercer's inevitable defeat at S'oggy Balls' hands, S'oggy Balls discovers that [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Aela_the_Huntress Aela] was in an edition of Playnord shortly before she dies tragically by a misfired arrow from [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/General_Burnside_(Character) General Burnside] and S'oggy Balls consumates his love with her corpse as he never could in life. Mercer is eventually defeated and S'oggy attends [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Ysolda Ysolda]'s wedding to a "Drunken Asshole" and invites Yura who embarrasses him greatly.
-When he returns to Elsweyr he finds [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/J%27zargo J'zargo] gone and that the Khajiit have all been dealt bad Moon Suger. S'oggy Balls investigates, kills lots of Thalmor, saves high Tonys and encounters Khajiit that really could stand to blink some more, and though he can understand little of what one of the Khajiit tells him, he manages to make out the words "airship". On board the ship, S'oggy Balls discovers a note revealing that the Thalmor have been poisoning Moon Sugar! S'oggy Balls travels to the airship so that they can launch an attack on the Thalmor and encounters the charming, inaudible character of Skullcat. After landing, S'oggy Balls finds himself lost in the desert desperate for skooma along [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/General_Burnside_(Character) Burnside] and they stumble upon an Argonian asking him to shit in Siligonder chitin, which he does. After killing the Thalmor responsible for the poisoned moon sugar and S'oggy Balls debates linguistiscs and the meaning of the word Khajiit with Jo'anne.
-S'oggy Balls goes to tell the Khajiit that they can safely do drugs again and no one cares except this one Khajiit that asks him to kill a farting Sload named Malsato the Hungry. Malsato warns that if he is killed, he will release a plague that will spread throughout Elsweyr, killing everyone. S'oggy Balls ignores the warning and kills him and only then realizes what he has done and goes on a desperate mission to save all the skooma that he can after he has fled Elsweyr, going to all the dealers that he knows. While he is back in Skyrim, the sun blacks out for some strange reason...S'oggy gets high and passes out, waking near the college. Deciding to finally visit his brother, S'oggy Balls ventures inside and discovers body after body of fallen mages. Upon the desk in the library he finds a journal left by the killer and on the list of victims is [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/J%27zargo J'zargo]!
-S'oggy Balls hunts [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Crotch_Guzzler Crotch] down, chasing him from the Thieves Guild to the Crabber's Shanty and all the way back to his home where he finds [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Crotch_Guzzler Crotch]'s family asleep in their beds and ends their lives in an act of revenge! Determined to figure out how to kill a Dragonborn, S'oggy Balls travels to the throat of the world and learns that all he needed to do was punch one to death and so goes to confront [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Crotch_Guzzler Crotch] for the final battle! He follows [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Crotch_Guzzler Crotch] to the college and watches as [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Crotch_Guzzler Crotch] jumps from the building.
-S'oggy Balls begins to suffer skooma withdrawals, he hallucinates, humps and feasts on the dead bodies at the college, and loses his hair and his pupils dilate. Then one day, he sees a flash of mystical lightening in the sky and realizes that [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Crotch_Guzzler Crotch] has somehow returned. S'oggy punches [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Cock_Nibbler Cock Nibbler] off a cliff and finally confronts [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Crotch_Guzzler Crotch] and prepares to fight him to death. [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/F%C3%BCn_Tits Fün Tits] turns up too, with [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Frea Frea], demanding the leg of goat roast that contains [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Astrid Astrid]'s soul. But [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Cock_Nibbler Cock Nibbler] is still alive (being Double Dragonborn and needing TWO punches to kill him) and he arranges a Skooma Parley, a sort of temporary truce where the enemies get high off of skooma and then kill each other. S'oggy, [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/F%C3%BCn_Tits Fün] and [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Crotch_Guzzler Crotch] reluctantly agree but before they go, [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Crotch_Guzzler Crotch] arranges something for S'oggy Balls as an apology for killing his brother. He resurrects [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Aela_the_Huntress Aela] and reveals that she is pregnant with S'oggy Balls' child and weds them.
-S'oggy, [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/F%C3%BCn_Tits Fün] and [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Crotch_Guzzler Crotch] are given a tour of [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Cock_Nibbler Cock Nibbler]'s expensive home, the most notable features being all the swords named after devout followers of the religion known as Skyrim for Pimps, and the chapel dedicated to worship of the creators of the Skyrim for Pimps religion. Finally, they arrive to the banquet hall. S'oggy Balls is last into the hall, and is greeted by [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Cock_Nibbler Cock Nibbler], [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/F%C3%BCn_Tits Fün Tits], [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Crotch_Guzzler Crotch Guzzler], [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Frea Frea] and [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Aela_the_Huntress Aela] , he also sees Brad the Bard, playing the lute, and singing 'The Rains Of Catsamere'. He sees all the Skooma and helps himself while [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Cock_Nibbler Cock Nibbler] asks that they all formally apologize to S'oggy Balls for the wrongs done against him and the racist slurs they used for him. S'oggy begins to feel like he has a real family and forgives them and indulges himself in Skooma - and is impaled with crossbow bolts.
-S'oggy Balls falls to his knees and the relentless rain of bolts stops long enough for [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Crotch_Guzzler Crotch] to say that there are two people he hates the most in this world: people that tell really long stories that waste his time...and people that kill his family. And S'oggy Balls can only watch helplessly as [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Crotch_Guzzler Crotch] slits [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Aela_the_Huntress Aela]'s throat, killing his wife and their unborn child right before his eyes. Enraged that he has been betrayed by the people he would have called his family, S'oggy Balls uses all his remaining strength to cut off [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Cock_Nibbler Cock Nibbler]'s head just before a barrage of arrows is released upon him from [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Frea Frea], [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/F%C3%BCn_Tits Fün Tits] and [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Crotch_Guzzler Crotch]. S'oggy Balls' life flashes before his eyes and through the pain he sees [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/J%27zargo J'zargo] dressed in white and asks if he has made him proud.
-[http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/J%27zargo J'zargo] asks only this: "Have you mastered the expert level Destruction spells yet?" and full of disbelief, S'oggy says no. [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/J%27zargo J'zargo] walks around his brother's bleeding body and disappears down the corridor, leaving S'oggy Balls to stare after him. And behind him, [http://skyrim-for-pimps.wikia.com/wiki/Crotch_Guzzler Crotch] aims his crossbow at S'oggy Balls' crumpled form and fires.
 ==Season 6==
 Although S'oggy Balls is not the main character in [[Season 6]], S'oggy Balls can be seen through the eyes of [[Cock Nibbler]] and [[Fun Tits]]. Cock directly interacts with S'oggy in the episode [[Giant Chicken Army]].
@@ Line 45: / Line 24: @@
 In [[Drag 'N Rend]], [[Cock Nibbler]] witnesses werewolf S'oggy Balls having sex with a cow.
-In [[Giant Chicken Army]], [[Cock Nibbler]] kills a dragon in front of [[S'oggy Balls]], who is amazed at his Dragonborn skills. [[Cock Nibbler]] flies away during their conversation further amazing S'oggy Balls. Cock suspects S'oggy is high.
+In [[Giant Chicken Army]], [[Cock Nibbler]] kills a dragon in front of S'oggy Balls, who is amazed at his Dragonborn skills. [[Cock Nibbler]] flies away during their conversation further amazing S'oggy Balls. Cock suspects S'oggy is high.
 In [[Dark Sisterhood]], S'oggy can be seen smashing the people of [[Whiterun]] in what seems to be chaos caused by a [[Skooma]] shortage. [[Fun Tits]], who lives in Whiterun, steps out of her house, see the chaos, and decides to rebuild the [[Dark Brotherhood]].

Main Characters
Point of View	Fün Tits • Crotch Guzzler • S'oggy Balls • Cock Nibbler • Mai Dik
GSP Gods	Adam Koralik • Emre Cihangir • Aaron Yonda