"Lover's Quarrel" is the fifth episode of the Skyrim for Pimps series and the fifth episode of Season 1. The episode continues the "very special kind of walkthrough" for the Dark Brotherhood quest-line in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.
The episode begins with Emre proposing the idea that Fün Tits should try to seduce Astrid's husband, Arnbjorn, so that Astrid will want to leave him. This would allow Fün to have Astrid to herself. She then goes to speak with Arnbjorn, but gets distracted by dropping a Leg of Goat Roast on Nazir's head.
When Fün Tits does finally find Arnbjorn, he greets her with what she interprets as being insults. He calls her a number of names, including Tidbit (or Tinbits), Ham Shank, and Beef Roast. Upset by this interaction, Fün tries to bring Astrid a flower, who ends up upsetting Fün herself by refusing to smell her flower. She then decides that she will go out to kill people, and that Astrid should "shape up" while she's gone.
Fün Tits heads off to Markarth for her next assassination. Here, she meets Frabbi and comments that her name goes well with her looks. She then speaks with her contract, Muiri, about the people she would like the Dark Brotherhood to kill for her. Muiri presents the killing of a second person to Fün, in addition. When Fün turns to leave, Frabbi runs up to her and urgently asks if she needs a drink.
The first person that Muiri would like to have assassinated is located in some Dwarven ruins. Fün finds several interesting things in the ruins, such as a genius way to cook skeever using a Dwarven fire trap. She finds it hilarious to watch Lydia walk through the flames of the trap. Fün then unlocks an expert level lock to reach her assassination target. She kills all of the bandits in the ruins, and tries to fool her target with a dead bandit's body (Weekend at Bernie's style). The target is not fooled and attacks Fün Tits, but she easily defeats him. While leaving the ruins, Emre foreshadows that Fün will end up seeing Astrid both naked, and at her feet, very soon.
|Previous episode:||Next episode:|
|"Fun With Assassinations"||"Hiding In Grandma's Coffin"|