"Licking Astrid" is the third episode in the Skyrim for Pimps series and the third episode of Season 1. This episode continues the "very special kind of walkthrough" for the Dark Brotherhood quest-line in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.


The episode begins with Fün Tits defeating a hagraven (described as a "freakish witch lady") on a mountainside. This is the first time that we witness Fün speaking with Lydia, her housecarl. After their encounter with the hagraven, Fün falls asleep in the hagraven's hay pile.

When Fün awakens, she is in a shack and sees Astrid sitting in the corner. Astrid instructs Fün to kill one of the prisoners she has in the shack with them. Fün, of course, decides to kill all three of the prisoners. She then expresses her great desire to lick Astrid and comments that she tastes like strawberries. Astrid gives Fün an offer to join her "family," The Dark Brotherhood.

Emerging from the cabin, Fün expresses anger about the fact that Lydia did absolutely nothing to prevent her from being kidnapped in her sleep, or to attempt a rescue. Fün then heads off to The Dark Brotherhood sanctuary that is located in the southern pine forest just beneath the road, hidden from view. However, she makes a quick pit stop to Whiterun to outfit herself and Lydia with new armor and weapons. They then take Bjorlam's carriage to Falkreath.

In Falkreath, Fün Tits defeats another dragon named "Crotch Nibbler." It is also assumed by Fün that "Crotch Nibbler" is the dragon that killed Cock Nibbler, but this turns out to be false. Fün then inquires as to what she should do with the defeated dragon's skeleton and is answered by the goat (who apparently speaks for the town guards).

Fün Tits then arrives at the Dark Brotherhood sanctuary. There, she takes a break by sitting on benches and admiring the quality of items in the sanctuary. After this, she speaks with Astrid who gives her Dark Brotherhood armor. Fün then takes off all of her armor in an attempt to impress Astrid. Emre, the voice in her head, then criticizes Fün's body, stating that it is why she is unable to impress Astrid. She then puts on the Dark Brotherhood armor that Astrid gave her, and proclaims to her that they are now sisters because of their matching armor.

Fün eventually runs into Arnbjorn and learns that he is Astrid's husband and a werewolf. She also meets other Dark Brotherhood members, including Nazir, Festus Krex, and Babette.

After a small confrontation with Astrid about her relationship with Arnbjorn, Fün screams in despair before deciding to visit The Oracles in Dawnstar. On the way, she carves onto a tree that "Astrid luvs Fün Tits." The Oracles use their power to make Fün forget about her current issues with Astrid.


Skyrim For Pimps - Licking Astrid (S1E03) Dark Brotherhood Walkthrough-0

Skyrim For Pimps - Licking Astrid (S1E03) Dark Brotherhood Walkthrough-0

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