- This is an article about the character. For the episode, see Soggyballs (Episode).
S'oggyballs is one of the five protagonists in the series Skyrim for Pimps.
Characteristics[]
S'oggyballs is a Khajiit that hails from Elsweyr. He and his brother J'zargo were raised by tiger-like creatures called Tonys after their parents died. J'zargo always wanted to be a mage, but S'oggyballs longed to be a master of Catrate, the art of smashing your enemies with your fists. Much to S'oggy's disappointment, J'zargo frowned on such a thing and always looked down on him and never showed him the respect he felt he deserved. When J'zargo left for the College of Winterhold, S'oggy decided to prove himself to J'zargo and left for Skyrim as well, leaving behind Tony and a...very odd Khajiit named Yura. But unlike his brother, S'oggyballs headed straight to Whiterun to join the Companions and become a legendary fighter.
S'oggyballs was unfamiliar with the customs outside of his homeland, not understanding that selling Skooma, his favorite drug, could land him in jail, or that anal licking was considered offensive because in his homeland it is a formal greeting. At the start of the series, S'oggy also could not read or write very well, leading to the threat of a restraining order by Ysolda after he sends her a creepy message.
Appearances[]
S'oggyballs makes appearances in Season 2, Season 5, and Season 6. He stars as the main protagonist in Season 5 and makes a few appearances in Season 2 and Season 6. See Timeline for a visual of the events in relation to the other three main characters.
Season 2[]
S'oggyballs makes his first cameo in the episode "Crotch Gets Hitched." He can be seen in the background of Crotch and Ysolda's wedding.
Season 5[]
S'oggy is the main protagonist of Season 5 and appears in all 33 episodes.
Season 6[]
Although S'oggyballs is not the main protagonist in Season 6, S'oggyballs can be seen through the eyes of Cock Nibbler and Fun Tits throughout the season.
- In "Song of Mai Dik," Cock Nibbler witnesses S'oggyballs and General Burnside hanging out at the Bannered Mare.
- In "Drag 'N Rend," Cock Nibbler witnesses werewolf S'oggyballs having sex with a cow.
- In "Giant Chicken Army," Cock Nibbler kills a dragon in front of S'oggyballs, who is amazed at his Dragonborn skills. Cock Nibbler flies away during their conversation further amazing S'oggyballs. Cock suspects S'oggy is high.
- In "Dark Sisterhood," S'oggy can be seen smashing the people of Whiterun in what seems to be chaos caused by a Skooma shortage. Fun Tits, who lives in Whiterun, steps out of her house, see the chaos, and decides to rebuild the Dark Brotherhood.
Story[]
S'oggyballs on the road from Winterhold, telling Crotch Guzzler his story.
The fifth season of Skyrim For Pimps opens up when Crotch Guzzler, on his way with Cock Nibbler to a padded cell after his battle with Fün Tits, is attacked on the road by an armored Khajiit who announces that he is here to seek vengeance for the murder of his brother, J'zargo. The Khajiit's name is S'oggyballs and he tells Crotch Guzzler his tail...er, tale. Quite some time ago, S'oggyballs and his brother J'zargo were living in Elsweyr, each of them with dreams for their future; S'oggyballs wanted to be a warrior while J'zargo wanted to be a mage. This caused problems between the two brothers and J'zargo looked down on S'oggyballs for not deciding to learn magic. J'zargo left for Skyrim to join the magic college and S'oggyballs was determined to impress his brother and left for Skyrim to join the legendary band of warriors: the Companions!
Upon arriving in Skyrim, S'oggy decided to share the wonderful gift of moon sugar to the citizens of Whiterun, not realizing it was illegal outside of Elsweyr. S'oggyballs attempted to share some with a guard and was instantly arrested and thrown in jail. While in jail, he suffered severe hallucinations and withdrawals and wound up humping a dead Nord in his cell. After discovering a key was rammed up the Nord's ass, he unlocked a grate in the floor and made his escape. He made his way to the meadhall of Jorrvaskr and to his delight, found two warriors fighting inside. S'oggyballs attempted to join in but accidentally killed both of the fighters.
After proving his worth to Vilkas and fighting him, S'oggy was sent to give a shield to Aela the Huntress. Right away, S'oggy was filled with desire to mate with her and attempts to woo her throughout the season. S'oggyballs goes to a tomb with Farkas and while there, discovers that the Companions are all Werewolves, at least Aela the Huntress, Vilkas, Farkas and Kodlak are anyway. S'oggyballs becomes a Werewolf himself and discovers the threat of the werewolf hating group called the Silver Hand. S'oggyballs and the Companions (accompanied by S'oggyballs' pet General Burnside eventually defeat the Silver Hand and S'oggyballs becomes leader of the Companions.
His balls can revive the dead. This one's just having a nightmare though.
S'oggy travels to Riften where he is approached by the leader of the Thieves Guild, Brynjolf and deciding that this is the chance to really prove his worth to J'zargo, S'oggyballs joins them and becomes a thief! But all is not well in the guild, a mysterious person is interfering with the guild's plans and Mercer Frey knows just who it is. He lures S'oggyballs to Snowveil Sanctum and tells S'oggy a tale of the greatest surprise hand job he and former guild master Gallus ever got, and one that was so great that it actually killed Gallus.
S'oggy's crew
To end Karliah (or to perhaps receive her amazing handjob), S'oggy and Mercer venture deep into the ruins and S'oggy is suddenly knocked to the floor, crippled by one of Karliah's surprise handjobs. Jealous that S'oggy got one and he didn't, Mercer cuts off S'oggyballs' dick and leaves him for dead. Luckily, our hero is saved by Karliah and his dick is sewn back on. Karliah tells him of Mercer's plans...but unfortunately, we can never really hear her because she talks far too quietly. During the events unfolding to Mercer's inevitable defeat at S'oggyballs' hands, S'oggyballs discovers that Aela the Huntress was in an edition of Playnord shortly before she dies tragically by a misfired arrow from General Burnside and S'oggyballs consummates his love with her corpse as he never could in life. Mercer is eventually defeated and S'oggy attends Ysolda's wedding to a "Drunken Asshole" and invites Yura who embarrasses him greatly.
When he returns to Elsweyr he finds J'zargo gone and that the Khajiit have all been dealt bad "Moon Suger." S'oggyballs investigates, kills lots of Thalmor, saves high Tonys and encounters Khajiit that really could stand to blink some more, and though he can understand little of what one of the Khajiit tells him, he manages to make out the words "airship". On board the ship, S'oggyballs discovers a note revealing that the Thalmor have been poisoning Moon Sugar! S'oggy travels to the airship so that they can launch an attack on the Thalmor and encounters the charming, inaudible character of Skullcat. After landing, S'oggyballs finds himself lost in the desert desperate for skooma along General Burnside and they stumble upon an Argonian asking him to shit in Siligonder chitin, which he does. After killing the Thalmor responsible for the poisoned moon sugar and S'oggyballs debates linguistiscs and the meaning of the word Khajiit with Jo'anne.
S'oggyballs goes to tell the Khajiit that they can safely do drugs again and no one cares except this one Khajiit that asks him to kill a farting Sload named Malsato the Hungry. Malsato warns that if he is killed, he will release a plague that will spread throughout Elsweyr, killing everyone. S'oggyballs ignores the warning and kills him and only then realizes what he has done and goes on a desperate mission to save all the skooma that he can after he has fled Elsweyr, going to all the dealers that he knows. While he is back in Skyrim, the sun blacks out for some strange reason...S'oggy gets high and passes out, waking near the college. Deciding to finally visit his brother, S'oggyballs ventures inside and discovers body after body of fallen mages. Upon the desk in the library he finds a journal left by the killer and on the list of victims is J'zargo!
S'oggy hunts Crotch Guzzler down, chasing him from the Thieves Guild to the Crabber's Shanty and all the way back to his home where he finds Crotch's family asleep in their beds and ends their lives in an act of revenge! Determined to figure out how to kill a Dragonborn, S'oggyballs travels to the throat of the world and learns that all he needed to do was punch one to death and so goes to confront Crotch Guzzler for the final battle! He follows Crotch to the college and watches as Crotch jumps from the building.
S'oggy begins to suffer skooma withdrawals, he hallucinates, humps and feasts on the dead bodies at the college, and loses his hair and his pupils dilate. Then one day, he sees a flash of mystical lightening in the sky and realizes that Crotch has somehow returned. S'oggy punches Cock Nibbler off a cliff and finally confronts Crotch Guzzler and prepares to fight him to death. Fün Tits turns up too, with Frea, demanding the leg of goat roast that contains Astrid's soul. But Cock Nibbler is still alive (being Double Dragonborn and needing TWO punches to kill him) and he arranges a Skooma Parley, a sort of temporary truce where the enemies get high off of skooma and then kill each other. S'oggy, Fün and Crotch reluctantly agree but before they go, Crotch arranges something for S'oggyballs as an apology for killing his brother. He resurrects Aela and reveals that she is pregnant with S'oggyballs' child and weds them.
S'oggy, Fün and Crotch are given a tour of Cock Nibbler's expensive home, the most notable features being all the swords named after devout followers of the religion known as Game Society Pimps, and the chapel dedicated to worship of the creators of the Skyrim for Pimps religion. Finally, they arrive to the banquet hall. S'oggyballs is last into the hall, and is greeted by Cock Nibbler, Fün Tits, Crotch Guzzler, Frea and Aela , he also sees Brad the Bard, playing the lute, and singing 'The Rains Of Catsamere'. He sees all the Skooma and helps himself while Cock Nibbler asks that they all formally apologize to S'oggyballs for the wrongs done against him and the racist slurs they used for him. S'oggy begins to feel like he has a real family and forgives them and indulges himself in Skooma - and is impaled with crossbow bolts.
S'oggyballs falls to his knees and the relentless rain of bolts stops long enough for Crotch Guzzler to say that there are two people he hates the most in this world: people that tell really long stories that waste his time...and people that kill his family. And S'oggyballs can only watch helplessly as Crotch Guzzler slits Aela's throat, killing his wife and their unborn child right before his eyes. Enraged that he has been betrayed by the people he would have called his family, S'oggyballs uses all his remaining strength to cut off Cock Nibbler's head just before a barrage of arrows is released upon him from Frea, Fün Tits and Crotch. S'oggyballs' life flashes before his eyes and through the pain he sees J'zargo dressed in white and asks if he has made him proud.
J'zargo asks only this: "Have you mastered the expert level Destruction spells yet?" and full of disbelief, S'oggy says no. J'zargo walks around his brother's bleeding body and disappears down the corridor, leaving S'oggyballs to stare after him. And behind him, Crotch Guzzler aims his crossbow at S'oggyballs' crumpled form and fires.
The fifth season of Skyrim For Pimps comes to a close with Crotch's revenge, but the story continues in the final minutes of the season six finale "After Skooma Parley."
In the aftermath of the skooma parlay, Brad the Bard sings a song to celebrate the death of S'oggy also pledging his service to Fün Tits and Crotch. While Brad celebrates, Crotch swears to the other two that he just saw S'oggy's body twitch. Fün Tits sees this as well. An ominous laugh can be heard before the Game Society Pimps gods announce season 7.
Quotes[]
- "A clean Khajit is not a Khajit any longer!" (In "Sex With Aela" , to J'zargo)
- "Friendship Smash!" (In "Friendship Smash")
- "You only have 5700? God dammit, Sprinkles! I just gave you 10,000 the other day! What happened to all of it, you dipshit?!" (In "Skooma Face", to Sprinkles, the drug dealer)
Photo Gallery[]
See also[]
| Main Characters | |
|---|---|
| Point of View | Fün Tits • Crotch Guzzler • S'oggy Balls • Cock Nibbler • Mai Dik |
| GSP Gods | Adam Koralik • Emre Cihangir • Aaron Yonda |