"Survival Horror Dungeon" is the 88th episode in the Skyrim for Pimps series and the 32nd episode of Season 5. This episode is a "very special kind of walkthrough" for the mission "Lord Balmer's Playground" (Mod DLC). The events of this episode is told by Paarthurnax and takes place during the episode, Secret Cake Thief.
Plot[]
Brad the Bard is back for more stories from Paarthurnax after his last tale was a hit across Skyrim. This time Paarthurnax has a story about S'oggy when he attended a dinner party.
Now that S'oggy can read, he looks at his inventory and finds a letter inviting him to a dinner party at a mansion. S'oggy excited, heads over to the Whiterun stables to embark on a carriage. To S'oggy's dismay, Bjorlam is unable to take him there. The Guild of Wagon Men have specific route that they have to take. Instead, they take another carriage that takes them to the mansion.
Once he gets there, the host of the dinner club apologies for starting the dinner without him. S'oggy, not at all offended as long as there's skooma, starts talking to the other guests at the table. There was a man who looked liked he could be in a band from the 70s named Jerry Manfred, another man with a squeely voice who talked about bombs named Grim Harpen, and the a third man named Clodius Dextios. Due to the singing monks in the background, he couldn't hear clearly what they were saying.
What? Can you turn the monks down?
Seeing how the guests haven't finished eating all of their food yet, he takes some of their food on the table and set it on his plate. The host of the party asks S'oggy to get the pie for him. When S'oggy does this however, nobody was back at the table. Feeling like the others have been pretty rude, he munches on some of the food and tries to leave the mansion. Unfortunately, the door wouldn't budge and he couldn't leave.
He gets struck in the neck and wakes up in a dungeon. Frantically checking to see if his penis was still intact, he looks around to see where he was brought. It looks like he was in a dungeon with flickering lights. Hooded statues and mannequins flash in front of his eyes and walls close in. Feeling this might be his last chance, the voice in S'oggy's head tells him that he loves him. S'oggy is very weirded out. After figuring out a few puzzles, one of them involving putting planks in the air and jumping on them to get out of a pit, the voice in S'oggy's head makes another confession; he loves both S'oggy and General Burnside and wants to get old together with him. This grosses S'oggy out. Interestingly enough, after going through the lengthy maze, he arrives at a room with three of the dinner guest trapped in cages. A note tells him that these cages are lased with oil and pulling the lever will burn them alive. The note also tells him that he has to kill two of them in order for him to survive.
S'oggy being his old self, starts pulling the levers, killing two of the men but the last lever would not do anything. He was disappointed for a bit but the next thing S'oggy knew, he was in a cage next to the last dinner guest and the host, Lord Balmer, tells him that only one can live. S'oggy successfully convinces the other dinner guest, Jerry Manfred, to die and he takes a swig out of his cup. After a delayed reaction, he falls to the ground and dies.
Feeling satisfied with the adventure, S'oggy leaves the mansion but is met by a dragon, which terrifies him since he is not a dragonborn. The voice in his head feels this is a good time to make another confession and tells S'oggy that at night when he's sleeping, he can control S'oggy's hand and touch his wiener. S'oggy, disgusted by what he'd just been told, yells "NOOOOOO!" all the way back to Riften.
Paarthurnax, having told quite the juicy story, wants Brad to do S&M with him as payment.
Trivia[]
- The events of this episode take place during Secret Cake Thief.
Video[]
See also[]
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