Skyrim For Pimps Wiki
Register
Advertisement

Astrid is the leader of the Dark Brotherhood, and Fün Tits' love interest

Appearances[]

Season 1[]

After killing a Hagraven and sleeping on her hay pile, Fün is taken to the Abandoned Shack where she is faced with the mysterious leader of the Dark Brotherhood and the choice of killing one guilty person out of three captives. After killing them all, Fün gets the urge to lick Astrid. Fün acts on the urge and licks her shoe. Fün is then insulted when Astrid implies that she is stupid by repeating the same sentence over and over again.

Fün goes on a small adventure through a town run by a goat to the Sanctuary. Inside she meets Astrid and realizes that she talks forever. Fün dresses up as Astrid and comments that they are sisters and both lickable. After Fün's insistence to call her sister, Astrid starts repeatedly calling Fün sister, angering her. Soon, Fün gets her heart broken when the drummer from Abba, Arnbjorn, tells Fün that he is married to Astrid. Fün and Astrid get into a fight about the marriage. (Licking Astrid)

Astrid kidnapped Fün after finding out about Grelod the Kind's death. After being considered lickable, Astrid becomes a romantic and sexual interest to Fün. Fün does everything she can think of to get Astrid to fall for her back. She puts a flower in her face, rubs a leg of goat roast on her face and even wrote "Fün Tits luvs Astrid" on a tree outside of Dawnstar. Astrid responds to none of this, and as a result, Fün goes to The Oracles for advice. Fün is unable to pickpocket Astrid's clothes, and also writes about her in her journal which shows the things she both loves and hates about Astrid. Astrid does not respond to this, but rather call Fün "sister". Fün goes on a variety of contracts and murders a lot of people for Astrid. Soon Astrid sends Fün to kill the "Emperor". Commander Maro tells Fün that someone in the Brotherhood betrayed her. After killing the soldiers, she hastily goes to the Sanctuary only to find most people in there dead. Fün hides in the Night Mothers Coffin to survive the destruction of the Sanctuary. After exiting the coffin, Fün slowly walks into the room with Astrid's charred body and Astrid saying that this was all her fault and asking Fün to kill her. Fün does this with regret. Then Fün remembers about her Staff of Dread Zombie and resurrects Astrid every 60 seconds.

Fün tits' journal

Fün Tits' journal entry about Astrid.

Season 2[]

It is implied that Fün was having sex with Astrid in the cave the whole time.

Season 3[]

Fün finally leaves the old Sanctuary with Astrid's corpse in it because she got bored. She heard about the Dawnguard and thought that if she could become a vampire and bite Astrid, she would come back to life. Rather, she forgot all about Astrid and focused on Serana. Soon, Fün hires Crotch Guzzler to get Astrid from the old Sanctuary. After a day of being very cautious with Astrid, Crotch finally delivered Astrid to Fün, who in return, gives Crotch a cryptic pancake recipe. Fün then has to decide between Serana and Astrid. Fün cannot decide, so she goes to The Oracles to find an answer. Through rap lyrics she realizes that she needs both Astrid and Serana to be happy.

Season 5[]

It is revealed that Crotch trapped Astrid's soul in a Leg of Goat Roast. She later appears, accompanied by Fün, when they meet S'oggy at the College of Winterhold. They were there to see if they could get Crotch to get Astrid's skin to stop peeling off. (To Kill a Dragonborn)

Relationship with Fün[]

Astrid is the leader of the Dark Brotherhood. Fün first met Astrid when Astrid dragged a sleeping Fün halfway across Skyrim to an abandoned shack in order to recruit her. Fün found Astrid to be "lickable."

In season one, Fün used to have a one-way relationship with Astrid. Fün would try to woo Astrid with flowers, meat (Leg of Goat Roast), and sexy clothing (Sex Armor) but Astrid would family zone her as "sister." Astrid already had a working relationship with Arnbjorn. This changed when both Arnbjorn and Astrid died and Astrid was burnt to crisp. Even though Astrid died, Fün could not let go and she would revive Astrid every sixty seconds to have sex with her.

This continues for a while, until Babette tells her a wave of vampires are in Skyrim. Fün comes up with an idea to "revive" Astrid. Fün would become a vampire herself and bite Astrid to turn her into a vampire. During her adventure looking for vampires, she meets Serana and comes to like her. Fün, confused on which lady she should choose, consults The Oracles and decides that she will date both Astrid and Serana.

Both Astrid and Serana join her in resurrecting the Dark Brotherhood and Fün tries to get Astrid new skin from a Daedric prince but ultimately she realizes that Astrid is going to remain looking like crispy bacon.

Afterwards, Fün goes back home to retire and settle down with Astrid and Serana, but she finds them both killed by Miraak/Crotch Guzzler's cultists.

Fün finally gets over Astrid after Cock Nibbler drugged Frea to like her.

In Skooma Parley, S'oggy Balls tries to give the Leg of Goat Roast to Fün since the roast contains the soul of Astrid. This was first identified by Paarthurnax.

Quotes[]

  • Sister.
  • Need something?
  • Sleep well?

Trivia[]

  • Astrid tastes like strawberries.
  • She is also known to taste like strawberry jam.
  • Fün is having sex with Astrid throughout all of Season 2.

See also[]

Serana
Frea

Advertisement